House2Home Ministries

Mistakes. They’re a beautiful mess! To be clear, I’m talking about the kind of mistakes that are life-affirming, not life-altering. We don’t like to make them, yet mistakes are a boundless resource of opportunity and insight. I sometimes wonder if our children are missing out on this. I often find my teenage daughter vacillating between obsessing over her G.P.A. and reminding herself to focus on the process, not the product, of learning. I often remind her that mistakes (i.e., missed exam questions) are a common and necessary part of learning. They are the evidence of trying, and trying paves the rocky road toward discovery.

Ah, discovery! That thing that led to the invention of the light bulb, inkjet printers, and Post-It Notes. All of these things came about either from a series of trial and error or an attempt at one thing which led to something way better. 

Mistakes sometimes get a bad rap because of the mess left in their aftermath. But there is a sweet spot in the middle of all that mess that gives value to mistakes. That sweet spot is where error meets enlightenment. It’s here where the MESSAGE emerges from the mess and helps you learn how to steer your way through to success.

I think sometimes we as parents can bend too far on the side of caution. Covering your child’s mistakes, doing everything you can to help them avoid making them, or being overly critical when they do make them could wind up subverting the very thing that inspires self-confidence and resilience. Instead of being fearful of mistakes, I believe you can teach your child to embrace them as guides to discovery.

Remember when your child took his/her first steps, how proud you were? Remember how supportive and patient you were then? They hadn't yet mastered walking, but you were so proud of their attempts that you shared the news with anyone within earshot. How about going back to that same attitude as they train through trying, learning the next math skill, auditioning for a part in the school play, or filling out their first job application? Make it a point to encourage them to learn from their losses and stand on their wins. I find that promoting this ideology to my own children has made them much more intuitive, resourceful, and excited about becoming lifelong learners. 

Nothing beats a failure but a try!